So, on the bus ride to Regina last weekend (first <a target="_blank" href="http://www.manitobafearless.com">Fearless</a> game of 2015) my good friend Brenda Bourns asked about the ring I was wearing.
I make jewelry for a living so I have tons of choices everyday, but this one doesn't come off :)
It's a ring that I made for Anti Bullying day. It may not look like it is well suited on the surface, it says "love hurts", but it really speaks to me.
My son is amazing, he is very smart, but sometimes he has issues identifying certain social innuendos, part of it is that he is only 9 but part of it is because that part of his brain hasn't developed yet, needless to say, he gets his feelings hurt.
At school they talk about bullying all the time and personally, I think that the "concept" is often pushed too far. Kids are kids, they need to learn that their words can hurt, and they need to learn to think before they speak (a lesson we can all learn). But more often then not, the intent isn't bullying, it's carelessness and insecurity, masked as confidence, I try hard to teach him that. Don't get me wrong there is certainly bullying. It happened to me as a kid, I understand all too clearly what can and does happen, however we have to be careful to not paint with too wide a brush, kids need to learn to think for themselves and react to situations with confidence of understanding.
I try to teach my son that not everything that people say it intended to hurt you, sometimes it is meant as a joke, and as bad of a joke it may be, it wasn't done with malicious intent (lol, he speaks like this was so he understands when I do, I told you he is smart) but he sometimes has a hard time grasping the concepts even though he understands the words. Hopefully the link will form.
I made the ring because it is difficult growing up, learning about how people work and think is hard. Even as adults we interpret intent that isn't there. As a parent there are things that you can talk about, give examples of, explain what it is and explain about empathy for others, we can help prepare them, but there are things that are out of our control.
Hence the ring, I love him more then life itself and I would do anything to ease his pain; when he hurts I hurt, however there are things that he has to learn, and they will hurt. I can't take that pain from him, he needs to endure it to understand and grow from it. He needs to learn these lessons to become a more mindful, and considerate person, he needs to learn tolerance for others that aren't like him and that all actions have consequences. He needs to learn that if he acts in a disrespectful way to others they will feel as bad as he does when it happens to him.
I will dry his tears, give him a huge hug, and talk about what happened. Spin my ring a few times and remember that this is good for him even though it hurts. These lessons will make him the man he is meant to be, but it still hurts.
Stay tuned and wired for style!!
